To be okay or not okay that’s the question?

Have you ever walked up to someone and casually just asked how you doing? The conversation can go in so many different ways but the person in question for the most part will say “oh I’m okay”

What exactly does okay mean? Sometimes people use the word okay to actually mean that they are in fact okay. Sometimes people use the word okay because they don’t want to take the time to explain to you everything that is going on with them. Sometimes okay is a replacement word for everything in my life is falling apart, my home life is not happy, my work life is crazy, and then sometimes okay just means it’s none of your dang business. Pretend to ask people are you okay when we think they’re acting out of sorts or not being themselves or maybe everyday you see this woman smiling and looking like she has no cares in the world and when you look at her different day she looks like a her world is crashing down on her.

Truth is okay is just that okay. If for some reason you feel like you’re not okay it’s okay to say so. Somebody asks Hi how are you today? You can tell them I’ve had better days or this isn’t the worst day I’ve ever had. We are all entitled to having you not so good day. And just because we have a day where we’re not okay doesn’t mean that we are trying to bring everybody else down or being negative it’s just a day that you just don’t feel quite like you. We have our days when we want to wrap ourselves in our cocoon blanket and make the world go away and it is all right to do that. But on the off chance that you start to feel this way more often than not I am not a medical professional in any way I would suggest to find someone who is and can direct you in the right way to finding your bliss again.

Dear Serena,

Screaming all the way to Heaven

Hey Girl,

Today was an interesting day we had our youngest daughter’s sixth birthday party. This was interesting to me because one of the last memories I have of us together was around Seth’s turning Six years old. I remember how small both of your kids where. Every now and agian I get to talk to Seth through facebook messenger. He has had a rough start to his adulthood but he has also had some opportunities that maybe would have never had before. He is a High School graduate. I have seen his diploma as well as pictures. However he did get into the drug game, causing him to get into trouble, which resulted in him getting shot in the neck and cheating death but only slightly. Man Serena how I wish I could have watched your kids grow up, how I wish you could have been part of them growing up. When I found Seth on Facebook I was afraid he would not remember me. When he facetimed me the first thing out of his mouth was “I remember your face”, the most amazing words I have ever heard.

So  proud

Baby girl however did not remember me and I never expected her to. She was so young. The reason for this blog subject is that this morning I saw a bittersweet picture on Yunique’s facebook page. Now I have gotten to see your daughter’s life in vicarious photos of her that have been Posted. But I have seen her graduation pictures as well as a video of her actually walking across the stage which I actually teared up at. Both of your younger children, of course, I have no actual contact with DJ, are named after your madien name and your brother John. So they are both Holden, well….. Yunique is now married so she is Yunique Dunivan.

Beautiful Bride

Which brings me to the reason for this post. Serena you are going to be a grandma. It makes me fell old, it makes me realize that had we still been a family like we were, we would have been surrogate grandparents. Great uncle and aunt at the least. Serena she posted three Pregnancy test so this just got real. I know that this news would have brought you such Joy. I want you to know that I still think about you. I am trying to keep your memory alive in your children and the world. I am sometimes sad that you will not be able to see this.

Monica Ray

P.S. You know that the Ghetto Towel is actually a thing now, we should have pattened that shit when we came up with it. Lol

Yunique and Seth, Yunique’s graduation

You are gonna be a grandma

Your son at your grave. They miss you so much. We all do