Hey there screaming at you from Texas to heaven, hope you have a Happy 43rd birthday. Can you believe it we’re 43 you were taken from us when you were 26. It doesn’t seem like that much time has passed yet Wesley and I are about to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary so really that much time has passed. I haven’t really got to talk to any of the kids lately but I do keep up on Yunique’s Facebook post so I get to see pictures of your grandson pretty regularly she’s actually really good at keeping up with it. But nothing is the same without you. I wish that I could have told you how amazing you were it seemed like I spent a lot of our friendship nagging at you about the things that you were doing wrong. Which until I became a mother I realized the difficulty it is to be a mother. No matter what I do no matter what I say no matter what the outcome of anything ends up being I always feel like I’m doing everything wrong. I work overnights so I sleep during the day and I hardly have any time for doing anything. I feel like my daughter sometimes is without because I’m not there to nurture her. But I also realize that I have a lot more time with her than you have with your kids. All those little things that you would do that would drive me crazy, are not far from the things that I myself would do now. Really I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday to let you know that we’re still thinking about you and that if things were different which sometimes it’s pointless to Hope or to think that things could be different, I would have hope that whatever we were fighting about would have been over and we could have gotten over whatever was standing in between us. So I still kind of have a little bit of insight to what your kids are doing yet I still feel like I’m so far away. Well anyhow I am going to fold some laundry do some adulting and lay down so that I can get up and go to work tonight. I’m pretty sure we would have been partying or going somewhere out tonight if you’re still here. But these kids aren’t going to raise themselves so I guess we better be adults. – Monica