-Courtney Love *Hole Celebrity Skin*

A person who loses a spouse is referred to as a widow or a widower. As soon as you hear the word you know that they have just lost a person that they had planned to spend the rest of our lives with. There’s another tone to the way that you handle a situation when you run into someone who is introduced into your life as a widow or a widower. A child who has lost their parents is referred to as an orphan. This word alone allows you to know that this child has no one in the world both of their parents are deceased. They already have the card stacked against them with no parental role models.

However society, Webster’s dictionary or whomever you would like to blame never made a word to describe a parent who has lost a child. Instead you find out about the hardest loss in the world by either word of mouth or actually getting to know the person and nobody can just sneak a word and let you know this person’s gone through a lot because they had a bury child.

My maternal grandmother died when she was 46 years old and before she was laid to rest she buried two of her children. She used to say it’s unnatural for a parent to have to bury a child, children should bury their parents. It’s the natural order of things. My mother went into the hospital to give birth to her twin daughters and she and my father walked out of the hospital empty-handed. Two months later I was born. That’s why I refer to myself as my name was never was. Because my birth should have never happened there’s a technical term for it it’s called super fetation or a double pregnancy. Now before you start saying that we were triplets this is not the case. My sisters were twins. They shared a placenta and embiotic sack so when my mother went into labor their water broke and through natural birth they came into the world however they didn’t have a chance to live to see it.

Well well this entire time Monica was in a separate embiotic sack and not so ready to come out yet. I was born on my cousin’s 5th birthday and ruining her life not really my cousin loves me. But the spontaneousness of my birth just happened to happen on her 5th birthday so the family that just lost twins all of a sudden had a baby to bring home. This brings me to a interesting realization that I’ve had about myself since I can remember. I really felt I had a beyond relationship and anybody else on this planet has had besides Jesus I guess with God. I’m not saying that I’m above anything or above anyone but I do believe that God put me on this planet for a reason. I think I was chosen to be here whether it was to ease my mother’s heart or to destroy the Dynamics of every single person that I get into an argument with. I definitely feel like when people meet me they have a hard time forgetting me.

I know a lot of people who are egotistical and think that they are here to change the world. I feel this way because with my life which is the entire question that we’re talking about I am completely grateful for the life that I have because it almost was non-existent. The right components lined up exactly how they should have been for my life to happen. I hope I like Spider-Man with great power comes great responsibility. I am a beacon for spiritual entities which means I am a medium and if a spiritual being is lost they automatically are drawn to me. So it goes without saying I’m pretty sure my first memory was of an apparition. They used to play with me as a child. They confined in me their deepest darkest secrets that they probably never told anyone when they were alive. Because they think I have the answers. I also am an empath. I think I felt other people’s feelings, and their pain, their suffering, their happiness, their laughter, their accomplishments before I ever understood what those things meant to me. I understood what was right and what was wrong before anyone my age ever did. I can see inside of people who they truly are. And until I had started doing drugs I never missed a beat I can see the inside, the light, the darkness, the things that people are capable of doing to each other, what they do to themselves when no one is watching. I can also see what is hanging around them like you know the Angel and the devil on your shoulder except they’re not little they’re full grown massive and fighting constantly over The souls of some of these people that are confused Who don’t know where to go or what to or how to think. I have same things that I wish I could unsee. But I know that God has a purpose for me to see these things, I am certain that if the entire world could see what I see they would go mad. I know my husband disagrees with me but I think this is the reason why I can’t have children. I think that God doesn’t want to burden another person with this. I mean don’t get me wrong I am certain that there’s other people out there like me because I’ve met them. I’ve run into people who have similar abilities like mine or some of them are 10 times stronger than mine are they are able to control their abilities. Some are barely coming into their abilities and ask for guidance. My daughter whom we have discussed before was not brought into this world by me, but by my sister, who does share the same mitochondrial DNA as I do. Her children have just as much opportunity to be born with the same abilities that we have. So my daughter has displayed random things I recognize from my childhood. She has also let me know that she sees things as well.

That’s possibly the reason why I started drinking and doing drugs, Imagine not remembering a day in your life when people were not talking to you that no one else can see. Then one day you wake up to silence. Not just silence but you’re not seeing things that other people don’t see. Not constantly asking yourself did I see that or was that real. At least inebriated I could some what block what I was seeing or who could correspond with me, this could be the reason why for so long I chose to be a drug addict and an alcoholic, it blocked things I could deal with later. My grandmother’s sister oralia when she found out I was staying in dragon she came and talked to me and asked me what my abilities were and I told her when I moved to Arizona had a hard time seeing them but I could hear them. She let me know that because of the proximity of where the remaining sisters lived which are Texas and Arizona,and Nevada, they created a binding in order to be able to understand what they were dealing with. They individually gain their abilities from birth but their abilities also were very pinpointed and concise. In my generation I was the first one that was ever tapped into my abilities however now when I’m talking to my cousins you know over the past few years and they’re starting to embrace that part of our heritage a little bit more. I Have seen death in his actual form and spoken to him as a colleague. I have incredible abilities that I cannot help but realize are not evil that God gave them to me.

My grandmother lived and extremely short life she live long enough to see three of her grandchildren being born but never live long enough to become old. Her family is the source of the abilities I have. I hadn’t noticed them until my grandmother sister explain them to me. One by one the daughters of that family died and with each one I received an ability that made me stronger. Now I’m not talking about magic which I know exist but I’m not going to pull a rabbit out of a hat and do some tricks to make people think that I am all powerful because I’m not. My abilities are confined in God.

How many of you are out there who have the same type of abilities but don’t understand them?