Tag: adult theme

Raised by a single mother.

I was honestly raised by my mother and my mother alone. She raised my sister and I without assistance from either of our fathers. She also took care of some neighborhood kids that grew up with us. My mom handled things without showing any weakness or letting us know that we were technically a poor family. She worked really hard to teach us a positive work ethic. As well as teaching us the value of a dollar the value of our time spent working and basically that to have the things that you want you have to work hard. This world is not designed to give you things. It was initially made for survival of the fittest and my mom gave us the basic skills to survive, to thrive, to be able to understand what the world was really about. Watching her on her hustle always made me feel like it was weakness to ask for help. Because my mom did all of these things by herself without anybody helping her. She lost her mother at a pretty young age she was already an adult but she was barely in her 20s around this time she also met her father for the first time and started building a relationship with him. A lot of times I feel like if I ask people for help that they’ll start thinking that I can’t handle my situations. If I try to achieve things on my own I feel like I have accomplished something. I feel like life can’t push me down because I won’t let it. This reasoning sometimes gets me into a situation worse than if I would have just ask for help. Sometimes I am
my own worse enemy.

Personal Goals

So as you know Facebook likes to remind you of things that have happened to you in your past. Show you things that you probably are trying to forget but there they go popping up in your head again so here’s the thing apparently 3 years ago today I was working at Love’s and a customer gave me two rules to live by number one don’t sweat the small stuff and number two everything is the small stuff.

Also on this day 5 years ago my husband and I signed our rent to own agreement and had it notarized. This day was in retrospect a amazing day it was the day that we finally were going to own something and it was going to belong to us. Both my girls had their own rooms my husband and I had a place to call home. Then only a few months after my husband broke his back and we started spiraling downward trying to keep this house that we already lived in for 3 years. We tried everything in the world to hang on to that but no matter how hard we tried it seemed like we were never going to dig our way out of the hole that we where in. I lost my job at Walmart because my husband was having issues mental health issues and physical issues. And before I knew it we lost our house, we had to throw in the towel and move back to Texas.

Also on this date 11 years ago I was still living in Texas and working at the Walmart in Grapevine. That was the day I was called into the office and told that I got caught on camera buying clothes on clearance. I kind of laughed but when our policy forbids associates from buying products before the customers can buy them. I thought it was going to get wrote up but I only got a verbal warning and the next day I brought back the two items that I bought and told them that there are five Walmarts from where I lived at to that store and I can buy things on clearance at other stores as well as use my discount card at another store. I shopped at this store because it was my home store and my bonus checks and pretty much paychecks move all around that stores ability to make sales but if my money is not as good as a customer’s money then that can be a customer somewhere else.

So that being said I think that 3 years ago a customer gave me some good advice to not sweat the small stuff and everything is small stuff no matter what way you look at it everything is able to be managed whether 11 years ago you thought you were getting wrote up or 5 years ago you thought that you were buying the house that you would be able to raise your kids and retiring or turning around and realizing you’re back at square one and starting from the beginning only this time you have two kids and a husband who is mentally challenging. The small stuff is what makes it worth going through. So ya’ll hang in there everything is going to be all right in the end.

No matter what’s going on in your life think of one thing that you’re proud that you accomplished this year because in reality that’s all it really is you have to get by day by day, week by week and then before you know it years have gone by. And this is your normal life

Love and Marriage (I know you where singing the Married with Children Theme, When you read that)

But man how true it is. Today I was dealing with two seperate situations. First of all one of my friends that I literly just came in contact with after almost 20 years. She and I where so close at one time we would tell people that we where sisters. But years have gone by and we lived seperate lives, seperate families. And today she took the first step in changing her entire life. She has decided to walk away from her unhealthy marriage. She is ready to make her life her own. Love and Marriage may go together like a horse and carriage however, they are far from the same thing. Being in love doesn’t always mean that you put up with being threated like you are less then important then your counterpart. It’s a give and take. It actually becomes more complicated at times. We are all guilty of thinking that everyone thinks like us. That they know your struggle, your pain and emotional ups and downs, when we get upset because our family and loved ones don’t read our minds. We also make facial expression that confuse one another, express different body langage and before you know it we are mad, sad, and in mid-confrontation, before you realize you have no idea why you are mad, what started all this. But what happens when you get to the end? To the point where there is no turning back. How do you go about starting over? Sometimes people think that it’s simple, yet they haven’t walked in the person’s shoes who they are talking about. My husband and I only faced one time when we thought that our marriage was at an end. And honestly it was because we were not communicating or being honest with each other. We also were having an issue with our drug addiction at the time and we were dealing with life-changing occurrences. There was a point in our marriage when I didn’t understand where he was coming from, and I thought that he was being unreasonable and accusing me of doing something that I wasn’t doing. He was confused because he didn’t understand why I wasn’t seeing what he was seeing and it stemmed from two people that we thought were our friends we considered them family and they tried to drive a wedge in between us tried to make us mistrust each other. Honestly I’m not for sure what their end game was, but they were hell-bent on us being apart. half of the people that I worked with and my second job thought that my husband was controlling and that he was hurting me. which was not true. People at my first job said that they saw him standing around a corner looking around checking on me making sure that I was at work or doing something I was supposed to be doing. When in reality he was making sure that I was okay he was making certain that those two people were not at my job harassing me or saying things about him. This was the time in my life when I let my husband down, I didn’t have his back, I believed other people who’s intentions were not good. And I am extremely sorry for that. Wesley and I have never had the type of relationship where we were jealous, didn’t trust, and we have never lied to each other. We never had a reason to. Even after Wesley was diagnosed with DID, we should have handled that situation a lot better. But we became stronger for it. Our family is more important than anything else in this world. Us going forward together is what matters.

My second friend, moved back to our home state from Arkansas with her husband of 12 years and his three children. But I can honestly say that the situation my friend went through was something entirely different than I have ever seen I have never had Wesley or any of the 37 personalities in fact speak to me the way my friends husbands spoke to her. He went as far as telling her that she ruined his life and he should have never trusted her. He also let her children speak to her like she wasn’t a grown adult. I do realize that they are living their life that what their marriage consists of is not my business but I just don’t understand how there are still women in the world who put up with things like that. I mean this is one of my best friends she is literally on the million dollar question blog that I have written about my best friends I have known her for pretty much most of my life half of my life at least we grew up in the same neighborhood went to the same High School matter of fact my mother actually let her stay with us when we were teenagers when she and her father or stepfather were having issues getting along and it floored me to see her letting first of all teenage children talking to her however they felt like they could and watching her husband not taking the initiative to make them mind or stop is this just me or is Love and marriage becoming so much different than it should have been.

I was raised in a single parent home. My momma took care of ever aspect of our lives. She held it all together without missing a beat. Without assistance from either of our fathers, or the government. She taught us to own our destiny and not depend on someone else to save us.