So I’m coming up on my 43rd birthday. 43 43 I just want to keep saying it 43. 3 years from where I am right now my grandmother died. At 46 she didn’t have time she didn’t have everything that grandmother was supposed to have she didn’t have what a lot of people take for granted. My mother lost her mother when she was in her twenties. My grandmother only got to know two of her grandchildren one of them she was raising and basically was snatched out of her hands when his mother was ready to take her son back. My grandmother was my best friend I was a 6 year old child with a grown up for a best friend my cousin Erica lived next door but she spoke a lot of Spanish and I just wasn’t able to communicate with her very much. I remember my mom’s cousin’s children more I mean she’s my mom’s cousin’s child also but I remember them more than I remembered her. So my grandmother became my best friend. And I think she really in a lot of ways she way mother’s too.
Sometimes I think about her. when she died she was alone. She was getting ready for work she was a nurse but she had a diabetic seizure and basically bounced from one side of the hall to the other side. When I was younger I would climb in the bathtub and speak to her. The bathtub is probably the last place that she had coherent thought. It was probably the last place she had control of herself. So I feel extremely close to her in the bathtub it doesn’t have to have water in it I could be taking a shower in it. I feel comfortable there.
My birthday has always been extremely important to my mother. She has always celebrated and reminded me how important I’ve been to her. But now as a years of going by she’s starting to forget things. She’s dismissing things they were important to her before. And even though I have had so many more years with my mother then she got to have with hers, it seems like we’re spending more and more time arguing with each other. I don’t want the past years but I have with my mother to be us angry I also don’t want her last years with each other to be where we don’t understand each other. I want to be able to be able to appreciate what we have. My mom spent a lot of her life being the rock that held us all together she was someone that we could always count on. She tried to teach us what the world was really about without sugar coating it without making it a fantasy. Yet she tried really hard to make sure that our childhood was not tumultuous and had as little drama as possible. With each passing year I feel like our entire family has been blessed to be able to together. But sometimes being together reminds us how different we are and how far apart our mindsets are.
Work, Family,and Friends according to Momo 