Goodbye 2020 hello 2021

So quite literally I was supposed to start this blog subject on January 1st. Here we are April 1st and I am barely coming around to say goodbye to 2020.

This new year has began with pretty much what it ended with. Hope. Longing maybe some difference. Got a lot of people with different opinions, different outlooks on what exactly happened with this pandemic. Some people think it was a hoax even though I had a cousin in Arizona who almost died from it. My husband stepfather died from complications that affected his heart. My husband’s entire family tested positive for it and had to be quarantine. The majority of businesses are now open to the public where as before we were having things delivered and staying as far away from each other’s humanly possible. You can imagine that counseling and psychiatrist and mental health workers are in so much demand right now because we’re social creatures. Even if you want to say that we really don’t like each other and we don’t want to be around each other when they’re not allowed to be around each other takes it’s toll. Sitting alone with your own thoughts sometimes is not as comforting as people think it is. So far 2021 has brought me a raise per our CEO of our company. It has taught us to work faster because we’re short-handed and even if we do not have enough people to do our jobs our jobs still have to get done. I am currently writing this post well sitting at the health table my job. Basically from 4:00 a.m. till 7:00 a.m. I sit at a table ask every person that walks in if they have had the following symptoms in the last 10 days fever chills cough shortness of breath or difficulty breathing nausea or vomiting diarrhea muscle or by aches fatigue headache sore throat new loss of taste or smell or congestion or runny nose if they answer no then my next question is have you use medication to reduce a fever in the last 24 hours if they say no then my next question is in the last 14 days has anyone you lived with than lab tested positive for covid-19 or have had been in a close contact with someone who has been tested positive for covid-19 if they say no I make sure that they’re wearing a face mask take their temperature make sure it is not above 100° and allow them to walk through the door. Honestly it’s gotten to the point where they can actually do the self-assessment on their phones before they even walk in the door so they just flash me their phone saying that they’ve taken their self-assessment on their own and all I do is scan their foreheads for the temperature.

This is allowed me to catch up on reading my emails, try to plan things for the weekend for my family, figure out what I’m missing out on in the world since I work overnights and feel like I am sleeping my life away. I also listen to a lot of true crime podcast and scare myself to death listening to things that could possibly happen that haven’t happened but still keep me looking over my shoulder. Sometimes I watch a movie on Amazon prime cuz I have it on my phone and my job has Wi-Fi free so why not. My day-to-day consist of me trying to figure out how to make more time in the day to even just wash my laundry clean my room hang out with my daughter. I hate that it feels like a chore to have to make time. I wish that I could just hang out with my kid and just hang out with my kids.

I know that my husband is trying to hang in there. His DID seems to be getting more unpredictable. On one of his alters that hasn’t come out in a very long time named Patrick, who is a drag queen, surfaced and started telling me things that I wasn’t aware of, about some of the altars in his head. I am a little concerned about this because Patrick hardly ever surfaces. And since the day he told me about what he wanted to say I haven’t heard anything from him I am worried for him. On top of all of that my husband is pretty much in charge of everything. He takes care of kids, he puts up with my mother when she starts ranting. He deals with me when I start ranting. If he’s lucky he gets to go down to this pond by a church down the street and go fishing. I know his plate is quite full. I wish I could tell him how much I appreciate him. How much he does to make my life so much easier and better just being there. He makes my life worth getting up for. It’s been me and him for almost 20 years now and I wouldn’t change a day.

So even though I’m 4 months behind here’s to what 2021 has in store for us. He and I are the original comeback kids life will push us down and kick us while we’re there but we come back up swinging. Go Team Ray!!!